The Other One

When Snorky Figgles joined me in Chicago last year, suddenly a bunch of my friends realized there was another 'dimension' to the Summer they'd known. As a result, I've been gifted several additions to the Figgles family since last summer. While I still have to discover all the facets of the personalities of Xiao Guai and Jelly (and, of course, Figgles himself), I absolutely knew what I was in for with Gruntster.

Gruntster, who? This is who.


He came to me along with Jelly on New Year's Day, a Christmas gift from a friend. (Not the same friend who gifted me with Jelly. I'm afraid this friend doesn't know me too well or she probably would have thought long and hard about allowing Gruntster into Snorky Figgles' company. Of course, having said this, I do appreciate the thought behind the gesture.) But, aside from the fact that he was large and glaringly and flashily colored, it also bothered me that he tried to sit like a two-legged creature, could sing and wiggled his ears to the music. Only pigs in Animal Farm try to sit like humans; and I could do without any Orwellian creatures around my little Figgles and family. As for the singing, any pig worth his name does not 'sing'. Pigs do not need to. They're the philosophers of the animal kingdom, not its' court jesters and musicians! Let's leave that to the wart-hogs, shall we?

I was pretty confused when I saw Gruntster for the first time. I initially thought he was a bee (stripes on his stomach). Then I changed that to a cow (the snout looks more like a cow's than a pig's). I actually had to read the label to figure out the horrible truth. I would like to meet the person who envisioned and designed a pig looking like Gruntster. I'm not certain he will walk away from that interview with me, alive.


Look at this picture. Can't you see the difference between my innocent little Snorky Figgles and Gruntster? It's like the 'evil twin' concept that cinema gives us so many examples of. I've been having nightmares where Gruntster's dressed in leather and dark glasses and is chasing Snorky Figgles, a knife in one hand, and, of all horrible ends to pig-stories, with a chopping board in the other hand! Figgles may be having the same visions. I had to coerce my sensitive little darling into this photograph, he turned his nose higher up than it already is, and muttered something about Gruntster's presence "somewhat altering" the tone of the 'family' picture. I must say, I have to agree. And I also have to commend Figgles upon his diplomacy, I couldn't have put it less offensively myself!

I'm still too full of shock to say much more. Still trying to be non-judgemental (very difficult) and reserving my comments for when I have more data! Please write in, expressions of commiseration are greatly appreciated.